CANADIANS
Hard to tell a Canadian from an extremely boring regular white person unless he's dressed to go outdoors. Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen. It is thought to resemble a sort of arctic Nebraska. It's reported that Canadians keep pet French people. If true, this is their only interesting trait. At any rate, they are apparently able to train Frenchmen to play hockey, which is more than any European has ever been able to do.
Good Points:
Still have plenty of Indians to abuse.
Proper Forms of Address:
Bud, mac, mister, hey you.
Some Examples of Canadian Repartee:
Two Canadians are talking in a bar. One Canadian says, "Who was that
lady I saw you with last night?"
"That was my wife." replies the other.
A lady is shopping in a Toronto drugstore and accidentally leaves the
bottle of aspirins that she bought on the counter. She gets on a bus and
the minute the bus has pulled away from the curb remembers leaving her
purchase behind. "My aspirins! My aspirins!" she yells.
And the bus driver says, "Maybe you left them in the drugstore."
A little Canadian boy named Johnny Fuckerfaster is screwing a little girl under
the porch of his house. His mother comes out the door and yells for him, "Johnny!
Johnny Fuckerfaster!"
"I'll be there in a minute," he says.